I’m not a big fan of these sound-alike videos because they seem to want to give the impression certain models are perfect but sounding good at a particular setting doesn’t make the whole model a good representstion, as you say. And feel is important - you only get that from playing, not listening.
GuitarJon's videos are IMO the right way to compare this stuff. Minimize the number of variables as much as possible by using the same DI tracks, the same cab sims, matched volumes etc. It's a comparison of "can these modelers sound like my preferred reference tone", not a comparison of whether any modeler is going to sound spot on at every setting possible.
I think you can evaluate the accuracy of those models vs the real amp to some degree by looking at the settings needed to reach the reference tone. For example when I had the QC, to make its JTM45 model sound and respond like the JTM45 in the Fractal FM3 I had at the time, I had to use some pretty weird settings whereas the Fractal model operated much closer to how I'd expect to configure a real JTM45.
"Feel" is thrown around more often nowadays because the audible differences between real amps and amp modelers have shrunk to very small. "Feel" is something that nobody can debunk because there's no way to perceive what you "feel" when playing a particular amp with the rest of your gear, your playing style etc.
I've seen some people on The Other Place adamantly say that e.g Universal Audio pedals "feel" better than a Fractal or Strymon, yet my own experience is that I have been able to make my Fractal sound and feel very much like some tube amps I've owned when used in the closest like-for-like signal chain. I certainly did not experience some superior "feel" in the UA Dream or Ruby I've tried, but I haven't put them head to head with what I own.
But I can't say "you are feeling it wrong" because I can't experience what these other people claim. It could be that I am less sensitive to "feel" than others, or it could be that those other people are just not as good at getting results that work for them out of the same devices I have.
"Feel" is the new "I have golden ears that can hear details you can't" because the only way to verify that would be to put these people in a blind test. Most people fail these, just like many people fail picking the real amp from modelers in GuitarJon's videos. Yet they confidently make claims like "this is the real amp because X and Y, tube amps are so superior" only for their choice to be one of the modelers. So in the end they just liked that sound better.
"Do I like how this device sounds/feels and its features" is a more constructive way to approach these things. If it sounds/feels good to play, it's good.