I’m in your camp. Point of my OP was that without proper reference…your gonna send sounds into the world you didn’t intendI see this idea on the forums a lot, and it still makes no sense to me if the goal is for your sound to have the best possible chance of translating well to other systems. I absolutely want my playback system to be accurate and revealing, just like when I'm looking in a mirror I want to see what I actually look like. If my playing sounds harsh and unpleasant through an accurate and revealing playback system, that tells me something's wrong upstream of the playback system. And as you rightly pointed out, it's usually the IR.
When you change your reference….what you send out will change accordingly.
That got lost in translation somewhere.
Nothing wrong to go for speakers that are the most pleasing in your mancave, but personally I want speakers that reduce the chance of unwanted surprises in mixes/recordings/signals to foh.