I just decoded the message about this new product. Here are the details.
Firmware was meant to be written/spelled Firm Wear. It is a wearable device for firmness. Unlike other similar products on the market, it not only enhances firmness, but it also has 69 different famous "sword" models including but not limited to, John the Wadd Holmes, Long Dong Silver (leather sheath not included), Ron Jeremy (with pre-fucktual legal arguments for your non-consensual usage of this product), James Marshall's Tendix and many more. It will provide the "champ in the roomp" feel and goes to 11 (though you will want the cool fans blowing if you are running it at this level)! It will be the first item from a musical gear manufacturer that wives and girlfriends can't wait to buy for their struggling musician partner!!! Turbo model will include the classic pootron filter and 11% longer fade outs.
You heard it hear first! Can't wait to see the jockeying on the wait list ;~))