I know this thread was meant to be funny (and it really is!), but there is a lot of truth hiding in there.
To me, a big reason your stuff is "better" is the elephant in the room: You are the one who got your gear. You picked it out for a reason. Something about it connected with you (looks, sound, price, ...).
It's like when you've been on a road trip and you are nearing the end of it. Everywhere you went was cool. You really enjoyed it. Saw some neat stuff, met some neat people. But towards the end, you start thinking of home. Your house. Your neighborhood. Your place. Everywhere else you visited was exceptional, but home is home.
Same way with gear. The other guy's gear is cool, but yours is "home".
I'll turn off the light on my way out!