The Modeler Wars

OMG this. The stories I could tell. Basically, non-technical people just group all of us together non-discriminately as "Computer Guy". (Unfortunately, this includes a lot of managers.) If there's a power cable connected to it, or it runs on/ near or is in any way associated to something with a power cable connected to it, that's MB's wheelhouse, surely. I'm essentially a data analyst, but I have, over the years:

- Taught people how to use - in the most basic ways - the computers they've been sitting in front of, professionally, for 8 hours a day, for decades.
-
Plugged in cables they themselves have unplugged, and then grown overly frightened of.
- Moved and cleaned furniture, because there had been things with power cables connected to them on top of said furniture.
- Helped people decide which printers to buy for their own personal use. At home. With their personal Amazon accounts.
- Told people whose (old) personal home appliances had broken down that they should really call Best Buy.
-Cleaned dog fur out of overheating computers people had brought in from home.

And the pièce de résistance: I once got a call from someone whose keyboard had stopped working. I talked her through all the usual troubleshooting steps with no luck, and then marched upstairs with a brand new keyboard to replace what could only have been defective hardware. When I got to the desk it was so covered with paper etc. that I literally couldn't think, so I started to clear things out of the way. And there was a stapler sitting on one of the keys. :facepalm

So, yeah. This has been my "career"... Good thing I got that engineering degree.

Yep you just described my professional career in a couple paragraphs LOL
 
OMG this. The stories I could tell. Basically, non-technical people just group all of us together indiscriminately as "Computer Guy". (Unfortunately, this includes a lot of managers.) If there's a power cable connected to it, or it runs on/ near or is in any way associated to something with a power cable connected to it, that's MB's wheelhouse, surely. I'm essentially a data analyst, but I have, over the years:

- Taught people how to use - in the most basic ways - the computers they've been sitting in front of, professionally, for 8 hours a day, for decades.
-
Plugged in cables they themselves have unplugged, and then grown overly frightened of.
- Moved and cleaned furniture, because there had been things with power cables connected to them on top of said furniture.
- Helped people decide which printers to buy for their own personal use. At home. With their personal Amazon accounts.
- Told people whose (old) personal home appliances had broken down that they should really call Best Buy.
-Cleaned dog fur out of overheating computers people had brought in from home.

And the pièce de résistance: I once got a call from someone whose keyboard had stopped working. I talked her through all the usual troubleshooting steps with no luck, and then marched upstairs with a brand new keyboard to replace what could only have been defective hardware. When I got to the desk it was so covered with paper etc. that I literally couldn't think, so I started to clear things out of the way. And there was a stapler sitting on one of the keys. :facepalm

So, yeah. This has been my "career"... Good thing I got that engineering degree.

Other classics:

“The application is running slow.”
When was the last time you rebooted the server?
“722 days ago”
:facepalm

“I swear nothing changed in the application.”
When did this start happening?
“Early this morning”
When did the servers get patched?
“Last night”
:facepalm

“My desktop appears upside down”
Did you walk away with your computer unlocked?
“No, well only to get some coffee”
Was Daryl there?
“Yeah, you know what, he was”
:facepalm



I laughed my ass off reading your bullet point: “computers they've been sitting in front of, professionally, for 8 hours a day, for decades”

I knew a lady that was literally toggling the caps lock for… every… uppercase… letter… she needed to key in. Like, in 30 years, you never once stumbled over holding the shift key? Not once? But maybe more hilarious, I like to imagine a long term conspiracy, where her coworkers showed restraint and dedication allowing this to occur for years, all while committed to never say a word. Days become weeks. Weeks become years. Years become decades. They never waivered, and held to their vow of silence. Of course I ruined it, as I couldn’t stand it any longer after watching it for a grand total of 15 seconds.

I like to pretend she ignored it though and went back to her caps lock ways.
 
"50 engineers working around the clock (on Zazzle submitting copyright infringement claims)"

Haha. At first it was Backstreet (Neural) Boys, then the Line 6 logo. (I wanted to reply, I know a guy, @Digital Igloo :ROFLMAO:) Now it’s down to vague rejections for “text”. I changed the company logo text from Neural to Neurotic. I’m thinking the legendary company Rabea DSP will likely be the demise for this one.

I could just have my better half Cricuit me a mug , but lord knows I don’t want to explain the backstory. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
Haha. At first it was Backstreet (Neural) Boys, then the Line 6 logo. (I wanted to reply, I know a guy, @Digital Igloo :ROFLMAO:) Now it’s down to vague rejections for “text”. I changed the company logo text from Neural to Neurotic. I’m thinking the legendary company Rabea DSP will likely be the demise for this one.

I could just have my better half Cricuit me a mug , but lord knows I don’t want to explain the backstory. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
"You see, honey; it all started around 2 long years ago..." :knit
 
"You see, honey; it all started around 2 long years ago..." :knit

“Oh that digital thing you used to play, I thought the sounds were awesome when you used that...”




anger-meme-littlenivi-come-here-you.jpg



giphy.gif
 
Back
Top