The benefit of being nice

i have never been nice. f**k that. :)

Jordan Peterson talks about two kinds of people; agreeable and disagreeable.

Long story short… Turns out that disagreeable people are the ones that make the world actually function, because they know what they want and they are determined to get it.

Sometimes that means not being agreeable/nice.

Doesn’t mean you’re a prick.

That being said, I try to find a nice thing to do every day.
 
Well, seconds + 23 hours… :)
I have no idea how I managed to miss your post before posting mine. When the screen refreshed and I saw two copies of Sgt. Peppers, I just assume we'd crossed in the mail. :D

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Jordan Peterson talks about two kinds of people; agreeable and disagreeable.

Long story short… Turns out that disagreeable people are the ones that make the world actually function, because they know what they want and they are determined to get it.

Sometimes that means not being agreeable/nice.

Doesn’t mean you’re a prick.

That being said, I try to find a nice thing to do every day.
I think I kind of split the difference. I'm fundamentally disagreeable in my own head: skeptical, impatient, uncompromising, etc. But externally, I tend to be agreeable to a fault. I don't like unnecessary confrontation, and if I don't watch myself, I can be a bit of a "people pleaser". It's a "functional" combination per the Peterson analysis. (I know what I want, but I'm not quick to burn bridges, either.) The downside is I internalize a lot of anger.
 
Hahaha I love this idea of responding to anger by threatening to do lots of nice things. :rofl

Yeah I think the "kill them with kindness" thing works really well all around. Because those that are just looking to make your life suck as bad as theirs ( most bad treatment boils down to this) or similar will secretly rage and those that are on the fence about you will think kindly of you and then those whom you like and love continue to see you are a kind person. Win/Win/Win. Now I just have to manifest it. Thats a whole other ball of wax.
 
Yeah I think the "kill them with kindness" thing works really well all around. Because those that are just looking to make your life suck as bad as theirs ( most bad treatment boils down to this) or similar will secretly rage and those that are on the fence about you will think kindly of you and then those whom you like and love continue to see you are a kind person. Win/Win/Win. Now I just have to manifest it. Thats a whole other ball of wax.

It’s tough, especially when you know someone is being a prick on purpose and that’s what happens here quite often. If I don’t have the headspace to slow my thoughts down, I’ll react before I actually want to. When I’ve kept up with meditating and sleeping right, I have a LOT more control over the flow of my thoughts and have the chance to look at them objectively before reacting. There’s a lot of social steps I’ve had to learn to put that into practice; when I’m in a heated discussion, I have to take myself out of it before escalating it, sometimes I have to dig to get information out of someone who is acting like an ass before I can respond and sometimes I just can’t talk at all, I just have to listen and the reply needs to be as sparse as possible while acknowledging what was relayed to me.

The biggest thing I’ve had to learn is that “it’s not an emergency unless someone is dying or bleeding” and really, everything else can wait. Whether or not other people believe that is not my concern.
 
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