GOOD NEWS: The amp just arrived!
BAD (HOPEFULLY NOT CATASTROPHIC) NEWS: My wife watched the driver (GAMANDA? Possibly incensed because I'd already left a bad review?) pull in, open the rear gate halfway, and literally kick the amp out of the truck onto our driveway. (Sounds like it landed on its end before falling over and winding up upside-down.) Then he/she drove off the side of the driveway and left a nice crater in our lawn, but whatever.
Inspecting and testing now. Didn't hear anything rattling around when I carried the amp down the stairs, so maybe I'll get lucky. No thanks to FedEx.