Many places have a no amp/cab statement because they're used to super loud amps and are trying to bring down stage volumes. They simply don't know any better.
If you can convince them that you can stay within (or much lower than) the output level of an acoustic drumset, a cab will work and is a million times better than any IEM or FRFR. I've played this way for a long time - I send an IR signal to FOH.
Now if it's completely silent stage - then, yes, nothing can be done. Might as well play an audio track at that point. No drummer wants to touch an electronic drumset if they can help it so many of these so called 'silent stages' have acoustic drumsets.
Getting and keeping work is usually accomplished by being really good with your instrument, a cool hang, and super agreeable to work with. Trying to get them to change existing policies for you is never in your best interest assuming there are other people around who are good and cool and won’t put them through that hassle.
I totally agree that the ban on guitar amps for a lot of gigs is ridiculous. I rarely argue about it though. You either want the gig and will work with the baggage that comes with it, or you don’t. There’s usually someone else who will be happy to take it.
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