Bad sound guys: The bane of digital guitarists

[metropolis_4]

That is the direct equivalent of the scenario you described in the OP: a modeler with a close-mic'ed IR through a monitor. But then you said about that:
"I’m only hearing myself out of a wedge monitor buried in the mix of the rest of the band so half the time I can’t even hear what I’m playing. And my tone is mixed so thin and bright it sounds like complete and I hate it."

IOW, the sound guy's mix, combined with his EQ of your signal, is producing a result that you find unsatisfactory. So bring your own wedge for guitar only, place it next to the house wedge, and set your level and EQ so as to produce a balanced sound in combination with the mix in the house monitor. That's really not difficult....

Yes, you’re right. In the scenario I mentioned in this OP that would work. Like I said, when the other instruments are also coming direct through the monitors it works. When they’re not it doesn’t.

 

[ian_dissonance]

There is one way you don’t have to worry about what the band is doing to have consistent monitoring…