Some extra thoughts:
I rolled through a few monitors to find some that I really like and settled on the IK Precision 5. They sound way bigger than the size indicates, enough that I sold my Yamaha HS8's after picking them up. I previously used (and have not yet sold) the Genelec 8020's so from a monitor standpoint I've taken that as far as it can go.
On my room, it could be treated better for sure but I built a bunch of acoustic panels, added a couch, and added a big rug. I played around extensively with monitor placement and they are in a pretty decent spot. I do have the ability to do DSP room equalization although that's been a pretty minor difference with the treatment and placement experimentation.
On the volume standpoint, that's mostly my preference. I run monitors or speakers a bit below where I'd run headphones which is conversation level, safe for long term hearing. That's what I'm happy with given my level of hearing damage and tinnitus. Headphones sound different but not better than monitors, so I think that's not an issue.
I think the Orange 1x12 cab is definitely a culprit. It is bright, beamy, and the low end takes a lot of space to bloom. If I'm facing the speaker (on or off axis) I hear the biting upper mids of the V30 pretty well, but don't hear much of the low end. If I go off to the side several feet then I hear all bass frequencies. It does emphasize the brightness/harshness of anything I play through it, although the lower midrange can be quite nice. I swapped the V30 for a V-Type but it sounds very similar, so to me it's mostly a cab sound.
The Fender FR-12 to me sounds better than the Orange, even though it's a different thing. The low end is a lot fuller and broader, so it sounds bigger in general, and I do have to cut the bass down so it's not as overwhelming. I do run the treble cut about halfway because I don't like all the high end. What I don't like about it is having both the impulse response and the cab shaping the sound, although I could probably find a happy medium with this one.
The Orange Rocker 15 through the 1x12 cab is very nasty sounding in the upper mids, but I'm pretty sure that's mostly the cab. I ran it for a while this weekend through a Two Notes Torpedo reactive load and into the Quad Cortex, and through IR and into headphones or the Fender cab it sounds a lot better. It's still not my cup of tea as it has basically a super clean channel and a pretty high gain channel that doesn't clean up the best, but it's not bad.
What I've been finding with modelers is there's a high end frequency to them that I have to dial out. In theory I shouldn't have to, but I've been running typically a high cut at around 5k so I don't get all the extra high end, even running through the effects return of the Orange tube amp into the speaker cabinet. It generally makes for a moving target. When I do the severe high cut at around 5k, the modelers start to sound pretty similar, so it gets to be more about the effects than anything else.
Friedman IR-X, I really like the simplicity and it's more plug and play compared to modelers, but I'm just not sure it's the right amp tone. The cleaner channel can do a nice breakup sound but it doesn't do big warm cleans as easily. The gain channel is really gainy and doesn't sound right with the gain dialed back. Kind of a scooped mids thing all the time. That's where I'm thinking the IR-D would be a better option...I think it would likely have a fuller sound in the mids and more versatility in the gain.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that everything sounds awful all the time, but I want more of a set and forget experience from the amp, where I can flip to one of a few sounds, and then have whatever effects sitting around that (probably coming from a modeler to be honest). And I don't want to have to fight the brightness all the time.
There are a dumptruck full of things that will do what you want but I think ultimately you will tire of whatever you settle on and go back to that gear churn. Low volume playing is just not much fun. A modeler for me is the best choice for that. Loaded down amp is great too but you still face the conundrum (on either of these options) of what am I going to monitor it through?
