I've never heard this concern, before. I wouldn't be overly concerned with premature fret wear, though.
Frets and other parts on a guitar will wear down and may need repairing or replacing from time to time, over the years, with normal use - just like a vehicle. It happens. Not a big deal.
The vehicle was made to get you across town, or across the country, if needed. Imagine not wanting to drive it anywhere, because you didn't want to put a scratch or any other wear on it.
THAT would be insane.
Enjoy perfecting your string bends and play your guitar whenever it strikes your fancy! That's what it's made for :-).
You'll figure out how much pressure is needed to get just the right bend, without stressing out the frets (or your fingers) more than necessary. That'll come, with time. Be patient with yourself, in the meantime.
It's worth it!