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I would argue with both of these points. I think and IME the exact same size fret in the same guitar is so close that you couldn’t reliably tell the difference. As for feel the thing you can detect is the way the strings slide over the surface and that varies depending on the quality of the fret dress. A newly well dressed nickel fret is almost the same. But even a few hours wear and the surface of the nickel is affected. Did you see the Warmoth video on fret tone?
This is very helpful because as close as possible you can hear the affect of this one aspect . A lot of people will play a Suhr strat along with a CS Fender and say the difference is the ss fret but it is actually a lot of other things too.
I knew you probably would. I am sticking with my own experience on this.