Why can’t I do this on Helix?

I’ve been complaining in the general direction of Line 6 as long as I’ve had a Helix because I wanna do stuff that would require an LFO to control an FX parameter. I’ve found workarounds for most things, but it would a lot easier if we had some shit like Boss has had since probably the GT-6. I just wanna trigger lazer/spaceship/murder insect noises off a momentary switch the way this works off input dynamics.

Anybody have any bright ideas before I just go buy a GX-100 for this project?

All that to make a noise like an Atari 2600.
 
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