What movie(s) was so bad, you stopped watching in the middle…..

[laxu]

The only movie I've ever considered quitting was a rental in the 1990s.

Imagine this familiar scene: It's Friday, you are in your teens and with your friends at the local VHS emporium looking for something to watch with some pizza. You've seen all the usual suspects, including The Usual Suspects. So it's time to trawl the less known sections, you know, the ones where all those B-movies live.

Then you see it. A cover with some Saddam Hussein looking dude running with an AK47. The cover claims it's "The Russian Rambo!"
How can you say no to that?

You excitedly pop in the tape in the VCR and start the film. Then you are subjected to about 90 minutes of:

• Atonal music. It's like circus music played out of tune.
• Archival footage. Naval battles and aircraft lifting off carriers.
• A really, really long intro scene of someone driving a freakin' Lada on straight roads with absolutely nothing to see as the credits roll.
• Some dudes talking. At this point you don't even care what they are saying.
• After a lot of fast-forwarding we get to the last 5 minutes. Finally there's some action! Some commandos storm a little island and shoot a bunch of supposedly bad guys. None of them looks like Saddam Hussein, though there are some AK47s.

I still don't know the name of the film, but it's still the worst movie I've ever seen. Like you can't get this bad even out of later day Steven Seagal movies. And I'm genuinely a fan of "so-bad-it's-good" movies, but this one was just so utterly boring!

 

[paisleywookiee]

The only movie I've ever considered quitting was a rental in the 1990s.

Imagine this familiar scene: It's Friday, you are in your teens and with your friends at the local VHS emporium looking for something to watch with some pizza. You've seen all the usual suspects, including The Usual Suspects. So it's time to trawl the less known sections, you know, the ones where all those B-movies live.

Then you see it. A cover with some Saddam Hussein looking dude running with an AK47. The cover claims it's "The Russian Rambo!"
How can you say no to that?

You excitedly pop in the tape in the VCR and start the film. Then you are subjected to about 90 minutes of:

• Atonal music. It's like circus music played out of tune.
• Archival footage. Naval battles and aircraft lifting off carriers.
• A really, really long intro scene of someone driving a freakin' Lada on straight roads with absolutely nothing to see as the credits roll.
• Some dudes talking. At this point you don't even care what they are saying.
• After a lot of fast-forwarding we get to the last 5 minutes. Finally there's some action! Some commandos storm a little island and shoot a bunch of supposedly bad guys. None of them looks like Saddam Hussein, though there are some AK47s.

I still don't know the name of the film, but it's still the worst movie I've ever seen. Like you can't get this bad even out of later day Steven Seagal movies. And I'm genuinely a fan of "so-bad-it's-good" movies, but this one was just so utterly boring!

There were A LOT of those sketchy "movies" at rental stores in those days.

 

[TSJMajesty]

There were A LOT of those sketchy "movies" at rental stores in those days.

We used to rent "other" kinds of movies at the rental stores. Then when back in school, while one of us was reading out loud from a textbook in class, we'd quote some of the lines from those movies, just loud enough for the reader to hear, and we'd bust out laughing, much to the nun's chagrin. "Is there something funny that you'd perhaps like to share with the entire class?"

Not with you standing here!

 

[paisleywookiee]

We used to rent "other" kinds of movies at the rental stores. Then when back in school, while one of us was reading out loud from a textbook in class, we'd quote some of the lines from those movies, just loud enough for the reader to hear, and we'd bust out laughing, much to the nun's chagrin. "Is there something funny that you'd perhaps like to share with the entire class?"

Not with you standing here!

We used to go into that section JUST to read the titles: swear to god.

“Stiff Magnolias”. “Up-Your-Ass-ic Park”.

 

[Dave Lewis]

Debbie does Dallas , Deep Throat , Behind the Green Door and Shaving Private Rihanna All sent me to sleep

 

[TubeStack]

Cage has been making so many movies the last ten years, it’s like he’s afraid they’re gonna run out of film stock (even though it’s all drives now).

I think he’s had to work so much to pay off massive debt? I recall him saying he had to take any movie that was offered to him, financially, which is why there’s such a range of quality.

 

[paisleywookiee]

I think he’s had to work so much to pay off massive debt? I recall him saying he had to take any movie that was offered to him, financially, which is why there’s such a range of quality.

Rings a bell for sure.

 

[TubeStack]

Rings a bell for sure.

I think it was gasp levels of insane chronic spending, except it was on yachts and cars + all sorts of expensive oddities, lol, if I remember right.

 

[sashimi]

There are movies that are too bad to watch, and then there are movies that are so bad they’re good.

showgirls. i actually went with a woman who wanted to see it- i seem to recall- for a women's study class. we were both like 'are you serious? da fuk is this besides really bad softcore porn with a really dumb plot?' (as if there were any with GOOD plots...) walked out if the theater.

This one makes the so bad it’s good category for me, Showgirls is hilariously bad in a good way.

 

[sashimi]

We used to go into that section JUST to read the titles: swear to god.

“Stiff Magnolias”. “Up-Your-Ass-ic Park”.

We found my friends parents vhs stash when we were 14. They literally had a 4 foot tall stack of vhs porn with funny names. We thought Robocock was great but that’s all I can remember.

 

[FracKing]

Groundhog Day... Some movies are just too "typically American" to me and had to leave it 10 mins in.
A friend watches it every year... *sigh*

District 9 I had to bail out after 5 mins...

gawd I can't STAND Laura Linney. Sometimes I just wanna reach through the screen and..., shut her up, somehow. lol

When I started to finally watch a ton of movies again (for a while) some 5 years ago, she was a discovery...
Engaging actress and at her best nice/classy enough.

OTOH, I think I can imagine what you mean...

In the end mostly two stuck to me for now...
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203230 [IIRC, she reminded me of fun Bridget Fonda (characters) somehow]
https://www.imdb.com/video/vi2023424281 [just ok movie that for some reason I loved from her]

 

[Holden Afart]

Anything with Bill Murray.

 

[Jynx]

Wow! You made it to the middle of Rebel Moon?

I tapped out at 15 minutes.

Only the David Harbour Hellboy was turned off quicker. A record-breaking <5 minutes.

 

[paisleywookiee]

Wow! You made it to the middle of Rebel Moon?

I tapped out at 15 minutes.

Only the David Harbour Hellboy was turned off quicker. A record-breaking <5 minutes.

In my defense, I was on the treadmill, so it's not as easy to navigate away while running. But yes. Half way.

 

[ian_dissonance]

It took me like a year to make it through Rebel Moon.

 

[Alex Kenivel]

How much time you got?

With love,
Undiagnosed ADD

 

[Dave Lewis]

Ken Russell’s

We got through half of it before we walked out .Kens worst film ever.

 

[ChordInversion]

Ken Russell’s
View attachment 57431
We got through half of it before we walked out .Kens worst film ever.

But this snippet form the cast list is pretty hilariously spectacular:

• Ringo Starr as The Pope
• Rick Wakeman as Thor