Jarick
Rock Star
- Messages
- 3,342
This morning I realized that I almost never listen to music anymore, and I think that's one reason I feel like I've been stuck in a rut for a long time.
Growing up I was obsessed with music, hearing it in the car as a kid, then discovering new bands that spoke to me, going to shows with friends, learning to play instruments, then joining bands and creating music. Being young and having all this new and changing music that was fresh was really exciting and energizing.
When I had my first kid at 25, music started to take a backseat and I retired from trying to play with bands. I had to focus on putting down roots and growing a career to provide for my family. But I still listened to music all the time and was always on the hunt for new stuff that spoke to my soul. I would follow music writers with similar tastes to discover new bands and stay connected to music, even as I wasn't as young anymore. I found the best time to listen to music was my drive to work and back to home, where I had about half an hour each way to myself with no distractions.
By my early 30's, that started to shift...I started to find less and less new music that I connected with, and I started to listen again to music from when I was a kid. That reminded me of the excitement of being young and discovering all this stuff, and I kind of got that same feeling. That got me to picking up guitar again, and of course led me to that rabbit hole of gear.
But as I found less and less new music I enjoyed, and I started to get tired of the music of my youth, I found myself listening to less and less music altogether. This was really emphasized when Covid hit and I started working from home full time. I didn't have that drive to and from work to listen to music anymore. So I started listening to podcasts, which were always being released, and I would have hours of new things to listen to each day. Often I have these going in the background, very much like a distraction. Sometimes I would have to rewind and listen to the same thing over and over just to actually hear and absorb what they're saying.
Over the weekend I came across a social media post where the author listed out his favorite album by year since 2000. I've always liked to play these games, and used to think of them on long drives, always making lists in my head. So I sat down to make my own list, going over my Apple music library where I like to collect music. The first 10-15 years were pretty easy, tons of life changing albums for me, lots of great music. There was stuff I hadn't heard for years that got me really excited again, made me remember all these songs I'd listen to while driving my son to play hockey when he was 5, or painting furniture and putting together a bedroom waiting for my daughter to be born.
But over the last several years, there was less and less music. Maybe 1-2 really good albums that I would listen to a lot, otherwise albums I saved to "listen to when I have the time" and then never did. The last two years, there's basically nothing at all. I've essentially stopped listening to music and only listen to podcasts. And it's the same for TV, I've stopped watching movies and TV shows and just watch YouTube videos.
And that got me to thinking...I've replaced a lot of the things in life that really filled my soul with things that just keep me going from day to day. I've got a steady drip of dopamine that's substituting for bigger experiences. That probably leads to a lot of the other dopamine chasing, like shopping and buying things that I won't use nearly enough to justify. A lot of that is because of the major stress of changing jobs this year and dealing with these crazy high expectations. I was shell shocked for months and had to essentially soothe myself to keep going forward. But when that shock faded, it's been more habitual distraction.
This morning I decided to look up some album reviews by a music writer I used to follow. Right off the bat I heard something so exciting, I had to grab my guitar. Within a couple minutes I stumbled on a really cool riff that I could expand on, so I fired up Logic and captured it. That's the first time I've recorded a song idea in months, maybe even all year. Then I saw another album, listened to that, and got really excited again.
I'm not really sure where all that leads, but I get the strong sense that I need to step back from the steady drip of podcasts and videos. I need to find time to really listen to music without so many distractions. Or even watch a good new TV show. Just anything that can refill the bucket of creativity that's been empty for quite a while.
Growing up I was obsessed with music, hearing it in the car as a kid, then discovering new bands that spoke to me, going to shows with friends, learning to play instruments, then joining bands and creating music. Being young and having all this new and changing music that was fresh was really exciting and energizing.
When I had my first kid at 25, music started to take a backseat and I retired from trying to play with bands. I had to focus on putting down roots and growing a career to provide for my family. But I still listened to music all the time and was always on the hunt for new stuff that spoke to my soul. I would follow music writers with similar tastes to discover new bands and stay connected to music, even as I wasn't as young anymore. I found the best time to listen to music was my drive to work and back to home, where I had about half an hour each way to myself with no distractions.
By my early 30's, that started to shift...I started to find less and less new music that I connected with, and I started to listen again to music from when I was a kid. That reminded me of the excitement of being young and discovering all this stuff, and I kind of got that same feeling. That got me to picking up guitar again, and of course led me to that rabbit hole of gear.
But as I found less and less new music I enjoyed, and I started to get tired of the music of my youth, I found myself listening to less and less music altogether. This was really emphasized when Covid hit and I started working from home full time. I didn't have that drive to and from work to listen to music anymore. So I started listening to podcasts, which were always being released, and I would have hours of new things to listen to each day. Often I have these going in the background, very much like a distraction. Sometimes I would have to rewind and listen to the same thing over and over just to actually hear and absorb what they're saying.
Over the weekend I came across a social media post where the author listed out his favorite album by year since 2000. I've always liked to play these games, and used to think of them on long drives, always making lists in my head. So I sat down to make my own list, going over my Apple music library where I like to collect music. The first 10-15 years were pretty easy, tons of life changing albums for me, lots of great music. There was stuff I hadn't heard for years that got me really excited again, made me remember all these songs I'd listen to while driving my son to play hockey when he was 5, or painting furniture and putting together a bedroom waiting for my daughter to be born.
But over the last several years, there was less and less music. Maybe 1-2 really good albums that I would listen to a lot, otherwise albums I saved to "listen to when I have the time" and then never did. The last two years, there's basically nothing at all. I've essentially stopped listening to music and only listen to podcasts. And it's the same for TV, I've stopped watching movies and TV shows and just watch YouTube videos.
And that got me to thinking...I've replaced a lot of the things in life that really filled my soul with things that just keep me going from day to day. I've got a steady drip of dopamine that's substituting for bigger experiences. That probably leads to a lot of the other dopamine chasing, like shopping and buying things that I won't use nearly enough to justify. A lot of that is because of the major stress of changing jobs this year and dealing with these crazy high expectations. I was shell shocked for months and had to essentially soothe myself to keep going forward. But when that shock faded, it's been more habitual distraction.
This morning I decided to look up some album reviews by a music writer I used to follow. Right off the bat I heard something so exciting, I had to grab my guitar. Within a couple minutes I stumbled on a really cool riff that I could expand on, so I fired up Logic and captured it. That's the first time I've recorded a song idea in months, maybe even all year. Then I saw another album, listened to that, and got really excited again.
I'm not really sure where all that leads, but I get the strong sense that I need to step back from the steady drip of podcasts and videos. I need to find time to really listen to music without so many distractions. Or even watch a good new TV show. Just anything that can refill the bucket of creativity that's been empty for quite a while.
