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In our search for a guitar player we had some interesting folks reach out, including a guy who was so drunk at 7pm on a weeknight he didn't remember talking to us, another who might be getting fitted for a custom tin foil hat as I type this and few who just ghosted us after claiming they'd learn our first song and get back to us.
One of them had red flags all over the place. He had several ads up in the usual local online places for "musicians wanted" where he took pot shots at the people he used to jam with (more than one group of people) and had comments about how important "his music" was and how it needed to get made. Definitely read like A Narcissists Guide To Scaring Off Creatives...
When he engaged with us, there was more of the same including unsolicited comments like "guess I have to brag about myself" and a timeline of what sounded like a fairly illustrious career in the metal world (although he wouldn't name the bands he was allegedly in) and connections he had at "major metal labels" (re: there's no such thing) followed by years as a touring player for some big time star in another genre (who also remained nameless).
Sent him the first song, which is by no means technically difficult to play, and told him how we wanted a guitar player who could share the songwriting load, contribute musically in ways the drummer and I couldn't, share the lead vocal duties with me and so on. He had a link to some online "songs" he'd done which were... not great. Decent playing, but non-memorable riffs, vocals by him (presumably) that made it obvious he was not born to sing, nor had he ever taken the time to try and figure out how to do so and some poorly programmed midi drum tracks. Overall, it sounded like something a high school kid would do with his buddies after washing down a dime bag with a bottle of mom's peppermint schnapps. But the playing was good, so he could clearly play our tunes.
He said he'd learn the song we sent and get back to us a few days later. The few days came and went and >crickets<.
Shot him a text just to check in before writing him off and he replied immediately with some out-of-nowhere mess about he couldn't believe we would treat him like a hired gun and he had more self respect than to just do what he was told and nothing more and that he had enough of that touring with the above mentioned star.
We were a little perplexed, but wished him luck and moved on.
This was 2-3 weeks ago.
Late Tuesday night he sent a text asking if the drummer and I wanted to jam with him in some new band he started with a guitar player he described as a "total beast!" I ran it past the drummer and we agreed to at least give the music a listen. We both thought it was odd that he was expecting us to be his "hired guns" now, but decided to give it a listen anyway.
Yesterday he sent us a "song" that he and the beast did.
Just as before, the guitar playing was good, technically sound, lots of scale runs, leads, whammy bar gymnastics, etc. No bass at all. Same "please stop doing that" vocals and poorly programmed drums. ZERO understanding of how to actually write a song, arrange parts, music theory or any of that. Just rando-riffs and showoff Guitar Center playing strung together one bar after another. There was no evidence of the aforementioned "beast hood" and I could blindly grab just about any entry in the TGF challenge and pull a more beastly guitar player, (minus my own cause I don't do leads). The song, at it's essence was very non-memorable wanna-be thrash metal. No hook, no groove, no "that one riff", nothing. In fact, by the time the song ended, both the drummer and I were just glad it was over (it's like 6 minutes long). Removing the technical proficiency of the actual guitar playing, the song sucks. It essentially sounds like someone in 1990 trying to rip off one of the lesser known, non-memorable 3rd or 4th wave thrash bands (through the lens of the above mentioned dime and schnapps
).
So, now we have to reply to the guy and tell him thanks but no thanks... a part of me wants to provide constructive criticism as I always like to help musicians any way I can, but based on his interactions in trying to "audition" for our band, I'm thinking that will go over like explosive diarrhea in the community swimming pool.
Curious who else has dealt with similar situations and has stories to share...
One of them had red flags all over the place. He had several ads up in the usual local online places for "musicians wanted" where he took pot shots at the people he used to jam with (more than one group of people) and had comments about how important "his music" was and how it needed to get made. Definitely read like A Narcissists Guide To Scaring Off Creatives...
When he engaged with us, there was more of the same including unsolicited comments like "guess I have to brag about myself" and a timeline of what sounded like a fairly illustrious career in the metal world (although he wouldn't name the bands he was allegedly in) and connections he had at "major metal labels" (re: there's no such thing) followed by years as a touring player for some big time star in another genre (who also remained nameless).
Sent him the first song, which is by no means technically difficult to play, and told him how we wanted a guitar player who could share the songwriting load, contribute musically in ways the drummer and I couldn't, share the lead vocal duties with me and so on. He had a link to some online "songs" he'd done which were... not great. Decent playing, but non-memorable riffs, vocals by him (presumably) that made it obvious he was not born to sing, nor had he ever taken the time to try and figure out how to do so and some poorly programmed midi drum tracks. Overall, it sounded like something a high school kid would do with his buddies after washing down a dime bag with a bottle of mom's peppermint schnapps. But the playing was good, so he could clearly play our tunes.
He said he'd learn the song we sent and get back to us a few days later. The few days came and went and >crickets<.
Shot him a text just to check in before writing him off and he replied immediately with some out-of-nowhere mess about he couldn't believe we would treat him like a hired gun and he had more self respect than to just do what he was told and nothing more and that he had enough of that touring with the above mentioned star.
We were a little perplexed, but wished him luck and moved on.
This was 2-3 weeks ago.
Late Tuesday night he sent a text asking if the drummer and I wanted to jam with him in some new band he started with a guitar player he described as a "total beast!" I ran it past the drummer and we agreed to at least give the music a listen. We both thought it was odd that he was expecting us to be his "hired guns" now, but decided to give it a listen anyway.
Yesterday he sent us a "song" that he and the beast did.
Just as before, the guitar playing was good, technically sound, lots of scale runs, leads, whammy bar gymnastics, etc. No bass at all. Same "please stop doing that" vocals and poorly programmed drums. ZERO understanding of how to actually write a song, arrange parts, music theory or any of that. Just rando-riffs and showoff Guitar Center playing strung together one bar after another. There was no evidence of the aforementioned "beast hood" and I could blindly grab just about any entry in the TGF challenge and pull a more beastly guitar player, (minus my own cause I don't do leads). The song, at it's essence was very non-memorable wanna-be thrash metal. No hook, no groove, no "that one riff", nothing. In fact, by the time the song ended, both the drummer and I were just glad it was over (it's like 6 minutes long). Removing the technical proficiency of the actual guitar playing, the song sucks. It essentially sounds like someone in 1990 trying to rip off one of the lesser known, non-memorable 3rd or 4th wave thrash bands (through the lens of the above mentioned dime and schnapps
).So, now we have to reply to the guy and tell him thanks but no thanks... a part of me wants to provide constructive criticism as I always like to help musicians any way I can, but based on his interactions in trying to "audition" for our band, I'm thinking that will go over like explosive diarrhea in the community swimming pool.
Curious who else has dealt with similar situations and has stories to share...
