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Rock Star
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It's still 1998 in my head and I rocked the shit out of Jncos then.
Each year I buy a couple new pairs of cargo pants and turn the previous year's pairs into shorts. They're perfect for working on the roofs at work because my legs don't burn to shit and I still have all the pockets on them (partially why they're so long) for handfuls of wirenuts and 10 extra 3/8's sockets because those just dissappear on roofs. And my balls get plenty of ventilation.
And they're great at the dog park, especially now that the bugs are out in force after 6PM.
Gotta have the wallet on a chain, too!