Covid rant

I am familiar with much you say.

I would recommend looking into this:

genesight.com

Home | GeneSight

genesight.com

Medication can help greatly and finding the right one can be very tough.
 
Jeebus, Orvillain! That is a lot on one plate. Fuck! :brick

3 times COVID, and then all that other stuff. Wow!

I had my first child at 38, and can't imagine what it would be like to lose your
Pops when he was 38 and then becoming a Dad twice over around that age.

That's a lot weighing on you for a long time, and wondering what your own
health might be like. Hello, chronic stress and anxiety! :(

Lots of great advice in here. I am not huge into offering it, because I barely
function and navigate this terrain myself. I also think you know what you
likely need to do, and how that will impact your life. It is not hard to get
depressed and then compound it with alcohol.

"I am fucked and my life is fucked so I might as well drink."

"Oh wait, today was a great day and things are going to be ok, so I might as well
celebrate and drink."

:idk

And when you have children the guilt/depression cycle can just intensify, because
you start to think you may be letting them down.

A lot of us seem to struggle with self-love and self-care----and not to get too woo-woo---
but it seems easier/more natural to beat ourselves up and not gives ourselves the things
we need to be truly healthy. I think we can treat ourselves like shit with our lifestyle, because
we literally feel like a piece of shit. Taking care of ourselves is truly a fundamental shift in
our whole way of being. And we can still be a bad ass. Maybe even more of a bad ass, because
we have energy and some stamina.

You're a bad ass, Orvillain... and I know we all care about you and are supporting you. Please
try and not beat yourself up over water already under the bridge. :hugitout
 
DrewJD82 said:
Those first couple months or years, depending on the length of substance abuse, require quite a bit of active care.
Click to expand...

Yup. Especially until those new habits/routines/protocols are in place, and a consistent part of our
lives. Every time we engage they become stronger, and every time we don't respond to the directives
of the old patterns/habits those become weaker.

Just seems to me that life itself is so much about a routine, and that we are creatures of habit. Finding/dreaming
about a new routine can be really helpful. I liked that old recommendation of "Imagine your ideal day."

What would it feel like? What would it look like? What would you eat? What would you do? Who would be
a part of it? How would you interact with them? Be specific about that version of you and what surrounds
you. Then find incremental things that you can easily incorporate into your life. Maybe it is playing guitar
for 15 minutes instead of not at all. Maybe it is reading a story to your children rather than going out to
the Pub. Maybe it is going for a walk when all you want is another smoke.

I have come to think it is the accumulation of all the little things that make up a life. It is not these huge seminal
moments that shake us to our core, as much as the tiny details that slip past our awareness---and then are
multiplied by a 1,000 on a daily basis. "Butterfly wings flapping that create a Hurricane," to paraphrase the
Chaos Theory crowd. :idk
 
DrewJD82 said:
This is a big thing that I think treatment centers/programs are still trying to get right in regards to awareness of it before heading into treatment. I understand why they don’t, but I’ve also had some friends revert back to old ways when a few months passed and they weren’t feeling any better. I’m currently taking a dopamine supplement as a result of my past kratom usage screwing with my brain. After I finally quit kratom the last time, I went about 6 months of not being excited about anything, I wasn’t depressed about anything, I was just flat the whole time. It started really negatively effecting me, mainly with motivation. I could be absolutely starving and not want to get up and make food. The supplement actually has me feeling like my old self again.

My best friend has been going hard for over 20 years, like REALLY hard, whenever he cleans himself up he hits the 2 month mark and says “I still feel miserable, instead of having some days where I at least laugh and have a good time when I’m partying, there’s nothing now. I just watch tv all day”, but he’s not doing anything to counteract it, either. It’s all part of maintaining sobriety and mental health. Those first couple months or years, depending on the length of substance abuse, require quite a bit of active care.
Click to expand...

It took about six months after I quit drinking for my body chemistry to stabilize itself, that was a challenge I hadn't anticipated. The doctor had me on a very mild dosage of Zoloft to help take the edge off of things, but I got off of it as soon as I could.
 
DrewJD82 said:
This is a big thing that I think treatment centers/programs are still trying to get right in regards to awareness of it before heading into treatment. I understand why they don’t, but I’ve also had some friends revert back to old ways when a few months passed and they weren’t feeling any better. I’m currently taking a dopamine supplement as a result of my past kratom usage screwing with my brain. After I finally quit kratom the last time, I went about 6 months of not being excited about anything, I wasn’t depressed about anything, I was just flat the whole time. It started really negatively effecting me, mainly with motivation. I could be absolutely starving and not want to get up and make food. The supplement actually has me feeling like my old self again.

My best friend has been going hard for over 20 years, like REALLY hard, whenever he cleans himself up he hits the 2 month mark and says “I still feel miserable, instead of having some days where I at least laugh and have a good time when I’m partying, there’s nothing now. I just watch tv all day”, but he’s not doing anything to counteract it, either. It’s all part of maintaining sobriety and mental health. Those first couple months or years, depending on the length of substance abuse, require quite a bit of active care.
Click to expand...

Yep - that was something I learned in treatment, and is a big reason why "white knuckling" can be much harder than it seems and more than a matter of willpower. Alcohol is one the things that causes a really strong physical dependence for heavy users and your brain basically becomes wired to need it. To the point where it can be dangerous to stop. Most users don't reach that point, but just being aware of the fact that there's a true body/brain healing period is really helpful, and that it's not just a matter of mentally getting over it.
 
northern_fox said:
Yep - that was something I learned in treatment, and is a big reason why "white knuckling" can be much harder than it seems and more than a matter of willpower. Alcohol is one the things that causes a really strong physical dependence for heavy users and your brain basically becomes wired to need it. To the point where it can be dangerous to stop. Most users don't reach that point, but just being aware of the fact that there's a true body/brain healing period is really helpful, and that it's not just a matter of mentally getting over it.
Click to expand...

The physical dependence is the rough part in the beginning, but the psychological dependence is what makes it so hard to stay quit. The psychological part is why quitting requires lifestyle adjustments and/or changes.
 
I can relate, Orvillain. My challenges have been different but still frustrating. I'm not writing as a comparison but to let you know you're not alone struggling.

I've been going in and out of fitness for many years now. I start getting fit, then something always happens that sets me back. My preferred exercise is bicycling. Here are the highlights of the past year or so.

1. Started a new job last June. It was a good thing but took me months to get up to speed so there wasn't much time for exercise. Hardest new job I've had, ever.
2. In September I got Covid on a work trip. The sales rep was sick but still insisted working the show and spent the entire day with me. I saw him in the hotel lobby the next morning and he told me he tested positive. Sure enough, I got it. It never went to my lungs but for 6-8 weeks after I would still get massively fatigued so not much exercise or anything else happened. It was basically work & rest.
3. In February I broke my right wrist & 5th metacarpal in a mountain bike crash. My new mountain bike that I only had for about a month. Ugh. 2 surgeries, casts, recovery and physical therapy either prevented exercise or ate up the time to exercise.
4. April, my mom died.
5. May, my wife was attacked by a very large dog (she's like 5'2") that slammed her head into the pavement repeatedly. She suffered a nasty concussion & other issues. I had to handle most of the chores & driving of kids until recently. It didn't leave much time for anything else. She's improved but still dealing with the concussion.
6. May 31st my mother in law died.
7. I was finally feeling better and starting to get into shape as we went on our big family vacation: a cruise. We came home late on July 7th. I woke up July 8th with Covid. Ugh. Like before, 6+ weeks of fatigue. It hit my lungs a little more this time and I'm definitely needing my inhaler more than I used to (asthma).

As of now, I'm in my 2nd week of riding again. I'm super slow compared to what I used to be. It's incredibly frustrating to endure the setbacks repeatedly. In the end, I have to try. I've only recently realized I suffer from depression and started treatment. One thing I've learned is not exercising impacts my mental health negatively. I used to do it partly for ego/self image/etc... but now it's medical. I need it. It's changed from being about how many miles and how fast I ride to being ride to live.

I wish you the best and hope things improve for you. If you have problems, don't hesitate to get help.
 
gonzoknife said:
I can relate, Orvillain. My challenges have been different but still frustrating. I'm not writing as a comparison but to let you know you're not alone struggling.

I've been going in and out of fitness for many years now. I start getting fit, then something always happens that sets me back. My preferred exercise is bicycling. Here are the highlights of the past year or so.

1. Started a new job last June. It was a good thing but took me months to get up to speed so there wasn't much time for exercise. Hardest new job I've had, ever.
2. In September I got Covid on a work trip. The sales rep was sick but still insisted working the show and spent the entire day with me. I saw him in the hotel lobby the next morning and he told me he tested positive. Sure enough, I got it. It never went to my lungs but for 6-8 weeks after I would still get massively fatigued so not much exercise or anything else happened. It was basically work & rest.
3. In February I broke my right wrist & 5th metacarpal in a mountain bike crash. My new mountain bike that I only had for about a month. Ugh. 2 surgeries, casts, recovery and physical therapy either prevented exercise or ate up the time to exercise.
4. April, my mom died.
5. May, my wife was attacked by a very large dog (she's like 5'2") that slammed her head into the pavement repeatedly. She suffered a nasty concussion & other issues. I had to handle most of the chores & driving of kids until recently. It didn't leave much time for anything else. She's improved but still dealing with the concussion.
6. May 31st my mother in law died.
7. I was finally feeling better and starting to get into shape as we went on our big family vacation: a cruise. We came home late on July 7th. I woke up July 8th with Covid. Ugh. Like before, 6+ weeks of fatigue. It hit my lungs a little more this time and I'm definitely needing my inhaler more than I used to (asthma).

As of now, I'm in my 2nd week of riding again. I'm super slow compared to what I used to be. It's incredibly frustrating to endure the setbacks repeatedly. In the end, I have to try. I've only recently realized I suffer from depression and started treatment. One thing I've learned is not exercising impacts my mental health negatively. I used to do it partly for ego/self image/etc... but now it's medical. I need it. It's changed from being about how many miles and how fast I ride to being ride to live.

I wish you the best and hope things improve for you. If you have problems, don't hesitate to get help.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear what you have gone through! Brutal to say the least!! Positive is, you seem to be committed to bouncing back and I salute you for that!!!
 
gonzoknife said:
I can relate, Orvillain. My challenges have been different but still frustrating. I'm not writing as a comparison but to let you know you're not alone struggling.

I've been going in and out of fitness for many years now. I start getting fit, then something always happens that sets me back. My preferred exercise is bicycling. Here are the highlights of the past year or so.

1. Started a new job last June. It was a good thing but took me months to get up to speed so there wasn't much time for exercise. Hardest new job I've had, ever.
2. In September I got Covid on a work trip. The sales rep was sick but still insisted working the show and spent the entire day with me. I saw him in the hotel lobby the next morning and he told me he tested positive. Sure enough, I got it. It never went to my lungs but for 6-8 weeks after I would still get massively fatigued so not much exercise or anything else happened. It was basically work & rest.
3. In February I broke my right wrist & 5th metacarpal in a mountain bike crash. My new mountain bike that I only had for about a month. Ugh. 2 surgeries, casts, recovery and physical therapy either prevented exercise or ate up the time to exercise.
4. April, my mom died.
5. May, my wife was attacked by a very large dog (she's like 5'2") that slammed her head into the pavement repeatedly. She suffered a nasty concussion & other issues. I had to handle most of the chores & driving of kids until recently. It didn't leave much time for anything else. She's improved but still dealing with the concussion.
6. May 31st my mother in law died.
7. I was finally feeling better and starting to get into shape as we went on our big family vacation: a cruise. We came home late on July 7th. I woke up July 8th with Covid. Ugh. Like before, 6+ weeks of fatigue. It hit my lungs a little more this time and I'm definitely needing my inhaler more than I used to (asthma).

As of now, I'm in my 2nd week of riding again. I'm super slow compared to what I used to be. It's incredibly frustrating to endure the setbacks repeatedly. In the end, I have to try. I've only recently realized I suffer from depression and started treatment. One thing I've learned is not exercising impacts my mental health negatively. I used to do it partly for ego/self image/etc... but now it's medical. I need it. It's changed from being about how many miles and how fast I ride to being ride to live.

I wish you the best and hope things improve for you. If you have problems, don't hesitate to get help.
Click to expand...

Man, I’m hoping 2024 brings your family some rest!
 
@Orvillain Just in case you don't make it through, would you put me in your will for the JVM410HJS?

The Next Generation Data GIF by Star Trek
 
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