Aging

[la szum]

Fucking hell man. How did I get to be this old?

Definitely need to Benny Hill the shit out of this last ear of my life.


It can be... uhmmm.... challenging, to say the least. You have to embrace the
"empty nest." Maybe you have to sit beside the bed where your parents
breathe their last breath. Oh, and you have to do it while having less stamina
and energy than at any previous point in your life. Good times.


I am now officially the eldest male in my family tree. And I feel like I am 17 most
days.

It's weird. Just when you get used to one stage of life life is like, "Here you go Buddy!"
as you find out you have an entire new set of challenges to learn, and maybe even some
new skills that you get to cultivate and enjoy.

Just feeling a bit thoughtful as my Son was home for 2 weeks from the Armed Forces and left
this AM with his Wife to get set up their 1st residence together, and do it a far away land (from me!).
It means I get to vacation once or twice a year in new environs.



It really is true, isn't it? When something is lost something else is also gained. Sure is a wonderful ride.


How are you handling aging, and any new challenges (and opportunities) it is bringing into your life?

 

[Alex Kenivel]

I turn 40 in a few months!

I started saving for retirement this past year and am excited to be moving the money from stocks into a bona-fide retirement account this week.

My son turned 21 two days ago. He's older now than I was when he was born, it's a trip to think about, and now we're wearing each other's clothes. I've shed about 65 lbs since last year but my skin, nails, and eyesight are deteriorating. Tinnitus also isn't getting any better.

Wife and I are watching our parents get older - her mother taking the lead with dementia and alzheimer's - that's probably our biggest challenge right now.
There's moments where we can see a bit of her shine through but half the time she doesn't remember where she is, gets frustrated and emotional, and takes it out on my FIL who is doing his best to take care of her while he himself is breaking down.
They live in a retirement community which is a 45-min drive away from us but we're looking into a facility for her. She's going to fight it hard..

 

[Devin]

Oldie


I'll be 41 in 14 days

 

[RGB]

Heading into my 69th year and not much has changed other than constant pain from arthritis, sciatica and other nerve damage. Still doing HIIT and Yoga and only on one med for mild high blood pressure, which I never had until I got the "vaccination". Nursing a strained hip flexor right now...not much fun...Doc says I can steroid up but I'm avoiding it as long as I can. Still strong and able for now.

Won't stop until I just can't do it anymore...period.

 

[Devin]

Heading into my 69th year

nice

 

[Sleezy E]

I've recently come to the realization that I'm the same age now my dad was when he used to come to all my shows when I was doing the 20 yr old "I'm gonna be a rock star!" thing.

I used to think he was so much older and wiser.. now I realize he was there for the beer, rock music, and 20 yr old chicks as just as much as the rest of us youngings

 

[DrewJD82]

I’m fortunate that my body hasn’t entirely caught onto the fact that I’m 43, but I also slammed the breaks on a lot of bad eating habits in my mid-30’s that set me up for this and now I’m refining it even more. I’ve been working on my feet/using my body for work for 29 years and I’m seeing dudes in the trades my age who are in far rougher shape.

On the same token, it was about 2 weeks ago I looked in the mirror and for the first time saw a middle aged dude looking back at me and not the 15 year little fuckhead I’ve been staring at for decades, which was a direct result of realizing my actual place in life right now and not holding onto the image of myself I’ve had for a bit too long.

I got divorced 3 weeks before my 40th birthday and I was scared shitless at that point to face life on my own for the first time and unfortunately I’ve held onto that mentality that I was incapable or had a reason to fear life on my own when in actuality, I’ve made more positive life changes than any point previously, I’ve been happy far, far more consistently and each day gets a little closer to living life precisely how I want to live it. It was nice to finally take my own foot off my throat for once and congratulate myself for not being the thing I thought I was.

 

[laxu]

Seeing my parents and relatives get old has been probably the hardest part of being in my 40s. Thankfully mine are in good shape and stay active so they are doing well, but some other relatives not so much.

Looking at my dad, I'm not too worried about how aging will look on me. He's still got a full head of hair, it's just white. Otherwise he looks fine.

I used to be fit in my 20s and 30s, but it's been downhill from there. Can't exercise with the same intensity, just don't have the time or the will for it anymore to be honest. Can't eat whatever I want either. Gotten a bit overweight as a result, but not in a "that guy is fat!" way at least. Even small injuries take a long time to heal, and any illness makes you wonder if it's something more serious.

 

[Baba]

I turn 57 in a few months, and I can swear that, playing music live has kept me younger than if I weren't doing that.

I've also been fortunate that my body seems to stay within a certain weight "range", whether I'm eating healthy and going to a gym, or doing the opposite. From my low 20's on, I've never been less than say, 190 lbs when eating well and working out, to around 210 when I'm doing the opposite. So, I have never needed to make a big life adjustment, or lose 50 lbs, etc, and still don't.

I am on a statin, and I take Fish Oil, but my numbers still look good. I've never broken a bone. I've only been to the ER one time, in 1990, for a self inflicted (accidental) laceration to my palm that needed 5 stitches.

The one thing I've noticed in the last few years, is my balance is REALLY off. I can't walk around my house without almost falling into something, and that's like 24/7.

I did suffer from occasional vertigo, for about a year and a half, about 5-6 years ago, so I wonder if my system is just a little compromised somehow.

 

[paisleywookiee]

I'm struggling a bit with it. There's the mortality of it all, and seeing people around you die. My older friends talking about the last stretch of their lives. Another friend waiting to see if he's got cancer again. That being said, I'm loving watching my kids grow into their own lives, and be who they want to be. So not all doom and gloom

EDIT

Oh and I had to buy a tennis elbow brace, because I injured that. I'm the cool middle aged guy with that on, at the gym.

 

[mbenigni]

 

[newholland]

gents im with ya. 55 this year- still active, still playing, still working in the trades. definitely feeling the slowdown in ways that dont feel awesome, but mostly cause i can't keep up with things by just working 18 hour days- especially solo. i like to think im winning in lots of ways im thankful for- and keep to that when i feel like... 'why the hell do i only get 45 minutes a day to myself all week then run like a crazy person every weekend to clean house, do laundry, shop, do the lawn, pay bills, and anything else i haveta do?' somehow still goin though and feel 15 inside my head, just know better

 

[la szum]

Oldie


I'll be 41 in 14 days

Just a Pup!!!

 

[la szum]

I turn 40 in a few months!

I started saving for retirement this past year and am excited to be moving the money from stocks into a bona-fide retirement account this week.

My son turned 21 two days ago. He's older now than I was when he was born, it's a trip to think about, and now we're wearing each other's clothes. I've shed about 65 lbs since last year but my skin, nails, and eyesight are deteriorating. Tinnitus also isn't getting any better.

Wife and I are watching our parents get older - her mother taking the lead with dementia and alzheimer's - that's probably our biggest challenge right now.
There's moments where we can see a bit of her shine through but half the time she doesn't remember where she is, gets frustrated and emotional, and takes it out on my FIL who is doing his best to take care of her while he himself is breaking down.
They live in a retirement community which is a 45-min drive away from us but we're looking into a facility for her. She's going to fight it hard..

Oh man! I feel for ya Brother.

It's a lot with kids and then parents who end up needing daycare, too.


Caregiving is brutal. Brutal and thankless, and also neverending. My Mom took
care of the Stepfather the final few years of his (congestive heart failure). He
got to the point where he could only sleep, eat, shit, and sit upright in a chair.
She ground herself into dust taking care of him. I stepped in and cut back on my
own business and income the final years to show up for them. And thank goodness
I could. They both would have been buried at the same time.

Now that he has passed (and the burden is gone, even if it was shouldered with love)
she has rebounded amazingly well. And she listens to me. She walks. She has cut back
on Meds, does more for herself, is driving a car again. And that is at 82. She is healthier
now than she was 2 or 3 years ago. And it is all about support. No different than any
other stage of life, I suspect. If we have support, and are in an environment that doesn't
constantly break us down and leave us deprived of sleep, love, care, proper nourishment,
and daily activity, then we can thrive. At any age. I feel like my Mum is proof of that.

I tell her how proud I am of her and her resilience. And I think that is important to do with
aging parents, because as children we are so worried about them that we are telling them
what to do, and what not to do. No different than kids. Lifting up rather than beating down
is almost always a better route to take, eh??



Oh, and great job on the weight loss!!!


Our best inten

 

[la szum]

I've recently come to the realization that I'm the same age now my dad was when he used to come to all my shows when I was doing the 20 yr old "I'm gonna be a rock star!" thing.

I used to think he was so much older and wiser.. now I realize he was there for the beer, rock music, and 20 yr old chicks as just as much as the rest of us youngings

Love it!

It's fun to look, even if you can't touch----and the looking only grows more enjoyable with
each passing year. Or so I have heard.

 

[newholland]

losing parents is definitely hard.. watching your oldest friends and childhood superheros fade is harder than anything i can imagine. lost my mom in 2020 (two days before covid lockdown on planet earth) after an 8 year cancer beat down. becoming an adult orphan is like nothing i can imagine.

 

[la szum]

Sorry about your Mum, @newholland .

It seems we are all destined to go through a lot of the same rites of passage.
Doesn't make it any easier, or more comforting, though.

 

[la szum]

Heading into my 69th year and not much has changed other than constant pain from arthritis, sciatica and other nerve damage. Still doing HIIT and Yoga and only on one med for mild high blood pressure, which I never had until I got the "vaccination". Nursing a strained hip flexor right now...not much fun...Doc says I can steroid up but I'm avoiding it as long as I can. Still strong and able for now.

Won't stop until I just can't do it anymore...period.

That's awesome you are so proactive.

I have an Uncle that I am not related to by blood or genetics who is 94, still
works a part-time job, and lifts weights 3x per day first thing in the morning.

When I last visited him, he was reading a book about how to live to 100, and
another about how to prevent dementia and Alzheimer's.

We shared an Air B-n-B with him and his 3 Adult Children (all older than me!)
last Summer for a couple of nights, and hope to do it again this Summer.

Not sure I want to hit 100. I am just more than halfway there at this point.

 

[ᛗᛜᛜᚺDᛜᎶ Ꮤᛨᚳᚴ]

Not sure I want to hit 100. I am just more than halfway there at this point.

I want to live to be 81, just so I can say "I have lived under a thousand moons!" in shaky old man voice! It is just before your 81st birthday that you will have lived under 1000 moons. Want to know you moon age (i.e. how many moons you have lived uner)? Go to https://moondogwily.com/lunaclock/ ;~))

 

[newholland]

Sorry about your Mum, @newholland .

It seems we are all destined to go through a lot of the same rites of passage.
Doesn't make it any easier, or more comforting, though.

aw man, thanks- i offer the same for your stepdad! it IS a rite of passage i suspect few of us dont get to experience for sure. lucky i got a good one and could help get her down the road as far as we did!